A potential client just booked a Discovery Call because they’ve been going through an intense Kundalini Awakening that has brought them to their knees.
They have done all the things – inner child work, polyvagal work, IFS, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Tony Robbins, chakra healing, reiki… You know, all the things.
But nothing has ‘worked’.
And, as they so correctly say: ‘The information out there ranges from lies to horrifying, and Western medicine has no connection to this.’
For them, like for so many people going through Kundalini Awakening, it’s been a game of sheer survival just to keep going.
The good news for this human is that they have got to the point where they are determined and clear.
‘Now it’s time to find the power of what this actually is and the gift I’ve been given. I need direction.’
That’s the turning point.
Because has horrific as an intense kundalini awakening can be, it is a blessing, a gift, and the natural evolution of the human being.
‘Kundalini is the name given by the Indian yogis to the evolutionary energy in man. It is the energy which is the cause of the series of transformations which the individual has to undergo before he can attain to the state of cosmic consciousness… Kundalini is the cosmic power in the human body, the ultimate evolutionary force in man.’
– Gopi Krishna (1903–1984) was a Kashmiri mystic, yogi, and writer whose own spontaneous awakening led him to devote his life to documenting and teaching Kundalini as the biological and spiritual force behind human evolution.
And realise this – it’s NOT Kundalini that causes the ‘horror’.
It’s the conditioning, programming, trauma and karma that the awakening human carries.
This is an important distinction to make.
Otherwise, people can blame kundalini for what they’re intense kundalini awakening, which is a pitfall guaranteed to keep you stuck.
Most humans are unconscious of all that internal material that requires purification, and it stays hidden in the basement of their being.
But once Kundalini awakens, there is no more hiding, no more unconsciousness of it, only the relentless purification and purging process, which can take years, or even decades.
Everybody carries a different load too. Some people don’t carry a lot that needs purifying – for them, Kundalini will be different.
Others carry a big load – and it’s often not all theirs.
Kiran Trace speaks of this in her excellent book, Tools for Sanity.
After her spontaneous awakening, she was in Edinburgh for a work event and found herself in the pits of hell – fear, terror, death, all the things. The intensity was such that she literally collapsed on the street and was found by a homeless man who took her to the hospital.
‘There are so many illusions about enlightenment. So many stories of how it’s all grace and bliss and heaven. Well, this is what it looks like sometimes, pftentimes. It’s a horror show… after awakening to our true nature, many of us experience an unravelling of a dark, hellish pain from larger cultural or global incidents stored in our cell memory… ultimately, this unravelling begins a profound healing, eventually giving way to a sweet and profound liberation.’
Kiran Trace, Tools for Sanity
I can attest to this – having lived through the horror on my path, and eventually integrating into that sweet and profound liberation. Not I have arrived anywhere – this is a process, lived moment to moment.
Hell and horror still visit sometimes – and I welcome them in, and lay a seat for them at the table because I have learned to dance with it all.
How? I know myself beyond thoughts and the sensations, the pain and the suffering.
This knowing of oneself as That and the ability to (mostly) abide in That was the game changer for me.
It began to drop in around 2018 – 14 years after my own intense Kundalini Awakening ramped up and led to two stints in a psych ward.
Those 14 years were painfulAF – NOT because of Kundalini, but because of the programming I was carrying that I was unconscious to…
If I’d been working intimately with a teacher, I know there would have been much faster burning up of the shit, and much faster integration.
But I wasn’t.
That wasn’t my path.
I was solo’ing it, using yoga and meditation, studying like a banshee, facing into whatever came to the best of my ability, and practising every day no matter what.
That persistence and dog-gone relentlessness on the path meant I eventually broke through.
I’m grateful for this journey because THAT’s what’s given me the ability to support other humans on their awakening journey.
Now, when I receive an email like the one from that potential client, I can feel their pain and their struggle, I can feel their courage and their determination. I can feel the grace that has brought them to me, and the honour that it is to be able to serve.
And it doesn’t matter if we only met for that one 30-minute call, or if they book a three-month container.
My job is to serve as deeply as I can in whatever capacity – and sometimes, it’s enough for some people to connect for 30 minutes, realise they’re not crazy, and receive the next breadcrumb on the trail.
For others, the relief that they don’t have to do this alone, that I can hold them and walk alongside them, is palpable, and they’re like, ‘When can we start?’
Kundalini Shakti is the divine presence in every human soul. Really, it is WE who awaken to Her, because she is always, always awake.
’It is the sole desire and duty of Kundalini Shakti to bring us to union with the One so we can enjoy spiritual realisation… she will not rest until that goal is attained. If necessary, she will give the distracted and dawdling errant seeker increasingly strong signals that her agenda is, in fact the prime directive.’
Joan Shivarpita Harrigan, Kundalini Vidya The Science of Spiritual Transformation
And therein lies the instruction that can ease the most challenging of awakening processes.
Surrender to her.
Surrender your worldly distractions, attachments, and aversions.
Ask Her what she wants of you, and do that.
(Notice the objections that might arise in your mind as you read that – can you be AWARE of those objections, rather than identified with them?)
Kundalini doesn’t come to destroy you. She comes to liberate you. And the more you surrender to Her, the more the fire becomes nectar.
Every time I surrendered, She revealed more of who I truly am. That’s the path. Not fighting, not fixing, not forcing—but bowing to Her intelligence and letting Her guide the way home.
Yes, it can feel like hell. Yes, it can rip apart everything you thought you were. But the one thing it cannot do is destroy what you truly are. That’s untouchable. That’s the gift.
Discover that, and the path opens up.
Oh – and the potential client? That might just be the missing piece for them, too…
This is not a path for the faint of heart.
But it is a path that will deliver you to the heart.
If you’re ready for that, if you’re longing for steady guidance and a hand to walk beside you—reach out. Let’s walk together.
